"Through Hell, How I Came Out of High Water"

Through Hell and High Water: A Personal Journey of Faith, Vulnerability, and Grace

As I reflect on my life, I feel compelled to share something deeply personal—a journey through storms that tested my mind, body, and soul. I pray these words reach women fighting silent battles, feeling overwhelmed or lost. I’ve been there. I know the pain, the longing, and the hope that can still shine through the darkest moments.

Mind: A Battlefield

For a long time, my mind was a battlefield filled with doubt, shame, and despair. My own thoughts convinced me I was unworthy and broken. But I learned that the mind is where many battles begin, and victory starts when we choose to focus on God’s truth rather than the lies we believe about ourselves. Even in my darkest moments, I held onto faith, believing God’s grace could transform the chaos within me. “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds.” — 2 Corinthians 10:4.

Body: A Temple

When life became overwhelming, I neglected my physical and emotional well-being. I forgot that my body is God’s temple, a sacred vessel deserving of care and respect. Healing began when I realized that restoration starts within—when we allow God’s grace to renew us daily and begin treating ourselves with the love He already gives us. “Know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God. You are not your own.” — 1 Corinthians 6:19.

Soul: A Haven

Deep within us is the soul, the quiet place where our true self lives. For a long time, I hid my pain there, believing vulnerability meant weakness. But I learned that vulnerability is strength. When I stopped pretending to be okay and allowed myself to be honest about my brokenness, I experienced God’s healing more intensely. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28.

My Most Vulnerable Season

One of the most painful seasons of my life came through an abusive relationship that began with verbal abuse and eventually became physical. It left me emotionally shattered and deeply depressed. I searched everywhere for love, hoping someone would make me feel alive again. But everything failed. I cried out to God, longing for love, compassion, and a softness that would allow me to heal. Instead, I found myself trapped in what felt like an emotional prison—depression, legal battles, chaos, heartbreak, and loneliness. It felt like drowning in hell and high water, wondering if I would ever find my way out. Yet even there, God was nearby. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18.

Lessons from Failed Relationships

Broken relationships, whether with family or in marriage, can shatter your heart. But through those painful experiences, I discovered that vulnerability is a gift. It takes courage to admit pain and trust that God’s mercy is greater than our mistakes and heartbreaks. True healing begins when we release our burdens to Him. “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7.

God’s Grace and Mercy: My Refuge

Even during my darkest moments, God’s grace never left me. His mercy surrounded me when everything else seemed to fall apart. I slowly began to understand something beautiful about God's love: it is not based on our perfection, but on His goodness. When I felt like giving up, His grace held me steady, when I felt like I had lost my way, His mercy reminded me that I was still loved, still chosen, and still worthy of healing. His grace became the anchor that kept me from drifting away completely. “Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” — Lamentations 3:22–23.

Vulnerable to the End

Vulnerability is not something we practice once and then move past; it is a lifelong journey. We remain vulnerable because we are always healing, always growing, and always learning to trust again. There will still be storms and moments when the waters rise, but now I know something I didn’t know before: even in the storm, we can stand strong not because we are perfect, not because we have it all together, but because God’s grace is enough. “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me.” — Psalm 28:7.

To every woman reading this: I see you. I hear you. And I want you to know that even in your darkest moments, God’s love is still shining, ready to lift you. Through hell and high water, His grace will carry you.

Love you all

Susie