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Retiring the Good Girl
- Rebecca Jones Gregory
- Jan 5
- 3 min read
Retiring the “Good Girl”: Choosing to Be God’s Girl This Year
I saw a post about being the Good Girl and I knew this needed to be addressed in this special space.
Somewhere along the way, many of us learned how to be the good girl.
The good girl shows up early and stays late.
The good girl doesn’t complain.
The good girl keeps the peace, holds it together, and makes sure everybody else is okay, even when she’s running on empty.
The good girl gets praised, trusted, and leaned on…But rarely rested.
And if we’re honest, being the good girl is exhausting.
It’s the mental weight of doing everything “right.” The quiet pressure to please everyone.The unspoken fear that if you say no, set a boundary, or choose yourself, you’ll disappoint somebody or worse, be seen as selfish.
So you smile.
You manage.
You push through.
But inside, you’re tired. Not lazy tired. Soul tired.
Here’s the truth we don’t say out loud enough: The good girl role was never meant to be your identity.
As we step into this new year, it’s imperative that you take care of you.
Not the version of you that performs well. Not the version that keeps it all together. But the real you. The one God actually called, anointed, and loves.
Because there is only one perfect. And it’s not you.
It’s God.
Trying to be perfect will wear you out. But being God’s girl will free you.
The Difference Between Being a “Good Girl” and Being God’s Girl
The good girl lives for approval. God’s girl lives from identity.
The good girl avoids disappointing people. God’s girl obeys God, even when it’s uncomfortable.
The good girl carries everyone else’s expectations. God’s girl lays her burdens at His feet.
And hear me clearly: God never asked you to be perfect. He asked you to be His.
Scripture for the Woman Who’s Ready to Let Go
1. Galatians 1:10 (NIV)“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? … If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
2. Matthew 11:28–30 (NLT)“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
3. Psalm 46:10 (NKJV)“Be still, and know that I am God.”
Not strive. Not prove. Be still.
Three Action Steps to Free Yourself from the “Good Girl” Trap
1. Practice Holy No’s
Every yes doesn’t come from God. This year, before you commit, pause and ask: Did God ask me to do this, or did I volunteer out of guilt? Saying no is not rebellion, it’s obedience when God didn’t assign it to you.
2. Release the Need to Be Liked
Not everyone will understand your growth and that’s okay. Pray daily: “God, help me value obedience over approval.” The right people will adjust. The wrong expectations will fall off.
3. Tend to Your Soul on Purpose
Schedule rest the same way you schedule responsibility. Time with God, quiet moments, therapy, journaling, worship in your car...these aren’t luxuries, they’re lifelines. You don’t owe the world burnout.
This Year, Choose You, God’s Way
This is the year you stop auditioning for titles you never asked for.The year you stop carrying what was never yours to hold. The year you let God redefine who you are, not as the good girl, but as His girl.
Loved.
Chosen.
Held.
Free.
You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to be willing.
And that, sis, is more than enough.
Yess this resonates so well to the person I know longer want to be. When 2026 hit the first thing I said was this year is personal is about protecting my peace. This post just made everything clearer for me.
This spoke straight to a place I’ve lived in for a long time. The “good girl” who shows up, holds it together, keeps the peace, and quietly runs on empty hit a little too close to home. What you named so clearly is that exhaustion isn’t a character flaw, it’s the fruit of trying to earn approval that was never required in the first place. I love the shift from performing well to simply being His. That reminder that God never asked us to be perfect, only to belong to Him, is freeing and confronting at the same time. This felt like permission to rest, to set holy boundaries, and to choose obedience over people-pleasing without guilt. Thank you for…
This was really good and honestly needed. The way you broke down the “good girl” role vs. being God’s girl was so clear and relatable. A lot of us were taught to always show up, keep the peace, and not complain, but nobody really talks about how draining that gets over time.
I especially liked the reminder that God never asked us to be perfect, just His. That perspective shift from approval to identity really puts things in order. The action steps were practical too, especially the part about holy no’s and not committing out of guilt.
This was a solid message for the new year and a good reminder to slow down, set boundaries, and let God lead instead…
Whew! That transformation is powerful. Welcome to the God’s girl era 👑🙏🏾
Awesome post Becca😘
Being a good girl or God's girl... come on!!!!! Great read n ive been doing both honestly... now ive been very intentional with been God's girl